Doing less - a powerful force for change.

By Lorraine Blackley - March 2010

Everywhere I go I hear friends, colleagues, clients and acquaintances complaining of overwhelming work and family lives. I don’t need to see the statistics to know that stress, anxiety and depression are epidemic in our society. It used to be just the telephone we had to answer but then it became email, txt and skype. Now there is the whole world of social media. We must tend to facebook, linkedin and twitter if we don’t want to get left out and left behind. They all take time. A lot of time. A study was done in Japan that showed it was not uncommon for adolescence and teens to spend 10 hours per day on the internet.

I can’t sit down to work at my computer without putting in 2 hours just clearing all the email messages. I find it hard to focus on the few important emails, when I have all the other distractions of offers and invitations constantly arriving in my inbox.

Once I get clear of the inbox I need a coffee just to get my thoughts straight. Actually that idea is possibly only an illusion - already it is too late. I have lost my most precious resource of a creative and empowered mind. I saw a study once that showed the creative part of your brain to be far less active after you have been responding to emails, than it is prior to engaging in email activity.
It is pretty clear to see that over the last century life has become more demanding and complex. When we talk to people of the previous two generations or read the history books we can observe this. Two generations ago people had the same job for a lifetime and in a marriage the woman kept house. With the next generation there was a shift to both men and women working. They were both required to juggle multiple roles in their personal and professional lives. By this stage it was becoming more common to engage in several different careers over a lifetime. In our present times there is a need for continual training and constant re-shaping. Not only in the world of work but socially and culturally as well. No one knows quite what they need to prepare for or where things are going. Just to manage we are being called to fit more into our days and years. Or so we are led to believe.

My life came to a turning point several years ago. I was buckling under a great number of pressures at the time. There were demands in business, family and finances, combined with a decided lack of time to meet my personal needs. My life had increased in complexity to the point where I could no longer cope. My health was suffering, physically, mentally and emotionally. I had lost my joy for life. I was weary to the bone. I felt compelled to respond to ever increasing demands. At the same time wanting a simpler life but not knowing how to achieve it. In a small way I was waking up to the fact that working harder wasn’t allowing me the life I wanted.

As it is with the synchronicity of life, my friend Wilma, the creator of womenlikemeonline.com, told me about the principle of vacuum. She explained that vacuum was a very powerful force. She further explained that it was the vacuum that formed above the wings of an aeroplane that was responsible for lifting it into the air. When a plane reaches a certain speed vacuum comes into play and up it goes. Wilma went on to explain that nature does not tolerate a vacuum and it will automatically draw things into itself. If I was to create a vacuum in my life it could be used as a force to make change. A far more powerful force, she suggested, than trying to keep ahead by stuffing more into my day.

This idea of vacuum was refreshing and caught my imagination. If vacuum could lift a jumbo jet into the air, what could it do in my life? I certainly needed a powerful force for change. As with most ideas that capture my imagination it was something I had to explore and experience in order to find out how it worked. Or if it would work to bring about the changes I wanted. As always I was up for the adventure.

My first question was how do I create a vacuum in my life? I could not see myself running along the runway fast enough to lift off. No, quite a different approach was required for a human compared to an aeroplane. Wilma helped me out. “Vacuum”, she said, “is created through the process of clearing things out of your life.”

I thought about what I could clear out. I set to and completed all the unfinished tasks, cleaned out the wardrobe, the cupboards and the garage. I got rid of all unwanted stuff. Car loads went to the Hospice shop. I gave things away to friends and sold other items on Trade Me. I started going around the house once or twice a week and each time collecting 17 things I would then get rid of. I collected them up and attended a car boot sale with a friend once a month. This was more of a social venture than a money making one. The de cluttering exercise was relatively easy once I got into the swing of it.
To step up my vacuum creation I went through my personal life and thought about all the activities I engaged in. I consciously chose to stop doing certain things. If I noticed I was doing something out of obligation or I felt a degree of resentment toward it, out it went. Some things like sending Christmas cards or attending a particular social network I could just drop. Others like cooking for my family every night needed an exit strategy. At first I felt a lot of guilt surrounding my choices and realised how much I am motivated by doing the right thing for other people. Taking action despite my emotional responses was part of the process.

Next I looked at the people in my life. Who was I spending time with? I made a choice not to spend time with the people I lost my energy around, the ones who took a lot and didn’t give much in return. I discovered I had friends who complained a lot and held a pessimistic view of life. There were others I spent time with out of habit and obligation. I wanted to move to another place in my life and so I chose to spend less time with my friends who were making different life choices to me. I didn’t need to get rid of these people; they didn’t even need to know what I was up to. I simply withdrew my energy and the time I was spending with them. This created quite a lot of vacuum.
Next I cast my discerning eye for vacuum over my work world. It was here I discovered that I was holding onto a work contract that I had had for 7 years. It provided my main income which was an important factor given that I was the only financial provider in my household. Further realisations were that I was so over this work and it was not allowing me to progress in the directions I aspired to. I had to let it go. I knew this was going to be challenging and would take a little time. Being quite committed to my vacuum experiment I made the choice. I stepped out feeling brave and afraid at the same time. I began working my way out of the contract. Within six months I had signed off.

Everything was up for review even if it challenged my social conditioning. As a mother with strong beliefs about putting my children first I assessed the situation. My two children were middle to older teens and although they still needed my support, maybe they didn’t need as much as I was giving them. Something surprising happened with this little shift in my thinking and my son decided to go live with his father and my daughter decided to go flatting. Now I was getting into serious vacuum territory.

I had to take care that not any old thing got sucked into my vacuum. I did this by setting an intention of what I wanted this vacuum to achieve. I was very clear. I wanted to change my life from overwhelm, overload and feeling locked into a way of living and working that I was not experiencing as life enhancing. What I wanted in place of this was a more uplifting and enjoyable personal and professional experience.

I guarded the area of vacuum I had created very carefully. When people and things came along wanting to fill parts of this vacuum I would assess if they were in line with the changes I wanted. I was so delighted to have an experience of space that at first I let very little in.
Slowly I did let new friends in, ones who had quite a different and uplifting view on life. I began to explore possible new activities that I could enjoy and took up dancing and writing.

Since I had let a major area of my work go I expected that a new contract would come my way. After a while I realised that it wasn’t new work as such but rather a whole new quality of life that had been drawn in by the vacuum. I began to find myself leading a life in which I did only what I loved and felt drawn to. It is my writing that I love most and where I lose all sense of time. I have been writing now for three years. I am converting everything I have been saying on my workshops for the last ten years into a written format. My vision is to produce my body of work into an interactive digital format that people can engage with on the net to have the same experience of transformation that they get through working with me face to face in workshops and consultations.

This is my new business which is beginning to bring a small financial return with the publication of my first book at the end of last year. “Creative Adventures in Manifesting Reality – Creative Process Chart” is an introduction to a creative process approach that people are using to motivate themselves and to stay on track with manifesting whatever it is that they want.
Opportunities continue to present themselves in keeping with my desire for an internet based business which I can operate from anywhere.
I am happy, life is easy, I have great friends, an authentic relationship with my two wonderful adult children, work is fun, I have love in my life and miracles occur on a daily basis.

What can vacuum do in your life my friend? Tread carefully and consciously as vacuum is indeed a powerful force for change. When used strategically, it can be an approach that will support you to step beyond the increasing complexity and demands of our rapidly changing times. It can also support you to bring the choices you make about how you want to live your life to fruition with more fun and less effort.

Lorraine Blackley, Transformational Coach, Creative Adventures Coaching, 2010
www.creativeadventures.org

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Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow

By Lorraine Blackley of Creative Adventures

I spent 23 years unsuccessfully searching for satisfaction and meaning in my work life.

My first career choice was nursing. I was not a very happy nurse and I was always looking for a way out. I would be on a shift and think “how many more hours until the end of my shift”? I would then think “how many days do I have to work until I get my next day off”?

I knew that I would retire at 65 (if I hadn’t managed to get out before then) so I would calculate how many years I had to work until I could retire. At age 18 this calculation did not hold much hope. Forty-seven years of dread and drudgery. This equated to, 11,515 shifts and 92,120 hours. How would I survive?

I know now that in order to bring about change or to move in life you have to know what it is that you want. I didn’t know what else it was that I wanted to do and so I was stuck there as a nurse for the next 15 years.

Eventually I did find my way out, through default more than anything else, I married. My husband and I started up a training business. Self-employment offered some hope - maybe I could determine my circumstances more in this role. So I found myself Managing Director of a training company.

We built the company up to a staff of twelve and expanded to two sites over a period of seven years. In that time we also bought our first home, had two children and bought two other franchise businesses separate from the training business. This approach to wealth creation eventually ran me into the ground.

I left my marriage and my business, disillusioned and depressed. There had to be another way. I could not believe that my professional life had to be like either of the two options I had already experienced.

This is when I came across the book by Marsha Sinitar called, “Do What You Love and The Money Will Follow”. I felt in my heart that this was a true statement but I had no idea how I could do this. Where on the earth could I practically begin? I didn’t know but I was determined to find out.

The first thing I discovered in making such a choice was that it was a hard call to make because it went against social conditioning. Social conditioning tells you to study hard at school so you can make a good career choice when you leave school. When that time comes you are told to look out into the employment environment and see what there is and if you have indeed studied well you will be able to choose something with good prospects. If you work hard at your choice you will make good money and with that money you will be able to do some of the things you love in your leisure time.

Doing what you love is associated with leisure time rather than work. There are those lucky people who have a job they love but if you really enquire into social conditioning, this is not the norm. We are not told, yes you can do both (make money and do what you love), get out there and find how to make it happen.

There are of course those who decide to go against social conditioning. Two such groups are the artists and the fringe dwellers who do search for meaning above money. Social conditioning tells them things like, “You will have to get a real job sooner or later,” or “You will never make a decent living like that.”

Another group that step outside are the entrepreneurs who know they can have both, don’t give a toss about social conditioning and simply pursue wealth creation doing what they love.

To put social conditioning aside for the moment, the next dilemma I had was how to work out what it was that I loved and how to equate that to my professional life. In those days I had no idea about what my passions were. I would regularly tell everyone that my older brother got all the gifts and abilities and I missed out on everything. I firmly believed this.

I now know that everything about my life tells me about what I love. I loved listening as a five year old to the fairy tale of Puss ‘n Boots. I particularly loved the bit where Puss put on his fabulous boots and went off into the world to “seek his fortune”. I thought this was an amazing thing to be able to do and I can remember thinking how I would do this one-day. Whatever it meant.

I loved the time in my life when I traveled overseas for my big OE (overseas experience) at age 21. I loved the freedom, the adventure and going beyond where I’d been before. I love going into unknown territory when it is an external adventure in travel and I equally love it when it’s an internal experience of personal growth, resulting in an adventure in consciousness.

I learnt more about what I loved when I did one of those quiz things on my archetypal roles within. This quiz said that there are 12 main archetypal roles such as the King, Queen, Orphan, Creator, Magician, Caregiver and Lover. This quiz gave me the scores for these roles within myself. The caregiver was my lowest score, which explains why I was such an unhappy nurse. My highest scores were for the creator and the magician.

This information did not help me to get a job at the time but it does explain why I now have a business called Creative Adventures, supporting myself and other professionals to create career paths through following the call in our heart and to “seek our fortune” in doing so.

This brings us to the bit of the statement, “and the money will follow”. I have discovered this does not happen automatically.

We all know the stories of the great artists who paint amazing works and live their lives in poverty. There has to be an intention that the money will follow, that the money will follow in your lifetime and in fact that the money will follow pretty smartly.

What you love is like having a bank account with an unlimited amount of money in it but you cannot cash that money and use it directly. However you can use the talent (money) to make more money and then swap or barter it to create wealth and abundance.

I was a slow learner but eventually realized it was my job to find the ways in which I could create wealth and abundance from what I loved and to create the structures in my life that would allow that abundance to come to me. That it was my job to work these things out if I wanted the money to follow.

I am not explaining something that happened over night – it was a process of years.

I now love my work, I love the people I work with and I love the unique and delightful careers and businesses that unfold around me as a consequence of myself and others choosing to do what we love and ensuring the money follows. I love the fact that my business is about encouraging others to tread this path and the fact that this approach is changing the face of business and work, as we know it.

I regularly hear from clients who have, after working on it for a couple of years, kicked the day job or the work they didn’t like and are now happily doing what they love. Creating their profession by following their passion.

Mid life career changes are usually a gradual process over two or three years and as I said it is not an easy call and there will always be things that have to be given up along the way in order to have what you want. Everyone who has achieved their end result even if it has cost them many things they value in life will tell you it is worth it. After all we are talking about your life and your enthusiasm for it.

By the way, the word enthusiasm comes from the Greek root ‘En Theo’ meaning ‘Inner God’.

The things that you love in life always reflect your God given gifts and abilities and there is always an amazing recipe for livelihood in the story they tell.

If you would like support and encouragement in taking such a journey contact Creative Adventures and consider starting your process with four sessions of “Creating a Platform for Change” or by joining one of the ongoing Coaching Groups.

Click here for a quiz on your daily satisfaction and meaning rating or find out more about our 'Platform for change' programme.